This blog was originally posted on the very popular Women In Livingness Blog back in February of 2013 and remains as ever relevant in 2016 and will continue to I suspect, for some time to come. With close to 900 comments by women and men from around the world, I am reposting here for readers of the Deeply Nurturing blog to enjoy.
A woman belongs to herself.
She may have a husband or a partner that she loves dearly, but she doesn’t belong to this man.
She may have children, but she does not belong to these children; though she can express beautifully as a mother with her children, being firm, loving, tender and supportive.
She has a mother and father herself, and even though these parents conceived her, gave birth to her and raised her from young, she never, ever belonged to them, but always to herself.
She also might have brothers and sisters, but these siblings she grew up with, experienced the beginnings of life and had much childhood fun with, do not define her; she does not belong to them.
She will have lots of family, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, but she does not belong to these relationships.
She will have friendships with these connections being very dear and precious to her, but she does not belong to these connections; she belongs to herself.
She may be employed, but she does not belong to her employer, or to her fellow workmates or clients and patients or customers. Although she very much loves her work and all of the people she has the joy of meeting through her work, this does not define her. She does not belong to these roles.
A woman belongs to herself.
She may also have a pet, such as a dog, and even though she has a responsibility to this member of her family, to walk, to feed, to shelter and give it warmth, she does not belong to this pet.
The truth that a woman belongs to herself – first, is the most intrinsic, innate truth and natural law I myself know. This truth is an absolute known to me, and I know it from the wisdom developed in living my life.
Yet everything in this world tells me otherwise.
Every relationship I have ever had at various times in my life, dares to say in some shape or form, that I belong to it and must therefore adhere to its rules.
These are rules that have not honoured the inner feelings that rest deep in my heart.
A natural law to me is that I belong to myself.
A rule would be that I belong to all of the relationships I have – before belonging to myself first.
The order of placing oneself first makes all the difference.
Rules are often expressions that to me occur without words, but rather in a silent body language that can be actually very loud! And often, to stand up and claim this natural law, and truth – that I am a woman and I belong to myself, creates calamity in others, because of all the roles we are so used to playing; all the needs we need met; the spaces that need filling…
But to stand up and to say ‘no’ to this old way of being offers the greatest of joys…
Reminding everyone who may have forgotten – that we belong to ourselves first.
By Shannon Everest.
Deeply Nurturing Blog
The Deeply Nurturing Blog serves as an online magazine, full of articles, interviews and stories relating to pre-conception, pregnancy, birth, caring for babies, transitions, raising children, relationships and women's health. By and about everyday women who are inspiring by their simple everyday choices in taking responsibility for their health and wellbeing.